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Joke of the Day
"A libertarian vote walks out of a bar ... ... and goes, ""God, I'm wasted."""
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"What did Hitler give to his daughter on her birthday An easy bake oven."
"Why don't any pirates live in Kansas? Because they all live in *Ar*kansas."
"Him: you are correcting my every word for the last six years of our marriage Me: for the last 7 years"
"Life is like a box of chocolates It sucks if you have diabetes"
"My ex left me for an attorney. It makes me smile every day to know he hasn't won an arguement for 15 years."
"The age old question... The age old question, if I paint my car black will it stop working or will it run faster?"
"What's the difference between Victoria Taylor and Arnold Schwarzenegger? One was fired, the other was terminated"
"Drank the liquid from my Magic 8 Ball and now I can predict the future with even less accuracy than I could before."
"Repeat after me: President Trump."