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Joke of the Day

"What's more awkward than getting a boner in public? Your girlfriend getting a boner in public."

"What did the remote controller say to the tv? I know he turns you on but man, that guy just pushes my buttons!"

"A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police . . . . . . . They're the police you racist cunt."

"A flamingo, a duck, and a lawyer... Q: What can a flamingo do that a duck can't that a lawyer should? A: Stick its bill up its ass."

"Some girl just caught me staring at her crotch so I gave her two thumbs up. She only deserved one, but it's the holidays and shit."

"I haven't slept for ten days because that would be too long."

"What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose? Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love? Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!"

"I was gonna tell a priest joke... But it would probably rub some kids the wrong way."

"How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying."

"My girlfriend's reason for leaving me was because she still hadn't found what she was looking for I replied with ""oh, U2"""