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Joke of the Day

"I was dropping my kids off at school when I saw a sign that said ""Watch for Children."" I'm going to miss them, but man this is a nice Rolex."

"What do you call a broken boomerang? A stick"

"I'm tired and want to sleep, but I can't stop imagining how the whole scenario of the first person to pee on a jellyfish sting went down"

"Was glancing through the Obituaries this morning and found it really creepy that all these people managed to die in alphabetical order."

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?"

"Yo mama so fat she has more chins than a chinese phone book"

"What was the name of the meth cook who got caught stealing baked beans? Heinzenburg"

"Why is it bad to have a strong American dollar? It's harder to break bills."

"[Religon] What's black and religous? The jews after hitler godammit how 2 spell religeone?!?!?!?!?"

"Once this whole ""global warming thing"" melts the ice caps We're gonna have a canoe world order."