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Joke of the Day

"I tried to make a living mixing audio files to the left and right ...but it didn't really pan out."

"The new and best Rock band Iron Gaben"

"I keep writing letters to myself. Dear me."

"[house hunting] Loved that one. Great price & the owner seemed trustworthy HER: It was next to a sewage plant & he had three eyepatches on"

"idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]"

"What fills the entire volume of its container and may become volatile and explosive when compressed? NYC subway commuters."

"What do old people always keep in their back pocket? Depends."

"The Queen doesn't like to speak about the paedophiles in her court... They're all touchy subjects."

"I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy."

"I bet Edward Scissorhands is very much afraid of Edward Rockhands."