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Joke of the Day

"idea: business cards that just say NO Sir can I have 5 mins of ur [card] Girl can I get ur number [card] BRO DID U STEAL MY NO CARDS [card]"

"What has six eyes, four wings and eight legs? Two chickens and a goat."

"How do you get heaps of pikachu on to a bus? You pokemon"

"A man tried to sell me a coffin today. I said, ""That's the last thing I need."""

"My friend went camping in the Serengeti with all sorts of lions roaming around It was in tents"

"I like my pillow like..... I like my pillow, like I like my women. Lumpy, covered in drool, and can take a punch."

"For her birthday, my wife wanted something that went from 0 to 80 in 5 seconds. So I got her a weighing machine..."

"My son said he wanted to get into organized crime when he grew up. ""Government or private sector?"""

"I went for a job interview last Tuesday and was asked to describe myself in three words. ""Violent when disappointed,"" I replied. I hope to get the appointment letter on Monday."

"I'm thinking about bottling my own urine and selling it. I'll call it ""I Can't Believe It's Not Bud Light."""