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Joke of the Day
"I always cry at weddings, but only because being that close to large cakes makes me so happy."
Next Joke
"My family insists i am addicted to drinking brake fluid. But i can stop any time i want."
"It might be a sign you have a drinking problem when the cashier at the liquor store asks if you own a bar."
"""Who'd win in a wresting match? Lemmy or God?"" ""Trick question. Lemmy IS God.""-Air Heads RIP Lemmy."
"Politics are like a dick. They keep on getting rammed down my throat."
"I hear there's a support group for overly talkative people... It's called And On And On And On Anon"
"*proposes to girlfriend, accidentally dropping the ring in the ocean* ""I'll still marry you"" No. I'm married to the sea now *dives in*"
"Used a bag to pick up dog shit in yard, tiny ants all over it. Later, saw 2 ants on my arm. My body is now crawling w phantom dogshit ants."
"""my favorite bon jovi song? oh its definitely the one where it sounds like a computer is trying to talk while burping"""
"My ex girlfriend kept stuffed animals all over her bed. It really killed the mood... ...because she was a taxidermist."