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Joke of the Day

"I once watched a mime choke to death on a street corner and everyone applauded. For a couple of reasons."

"Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television."

"a keyboard walks into a barbershop on the international space station ""i just want an easy, short cut"". then he hit the bar"

"Request: dead baby jokes What is worse than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees Sure, oldest one in the book but whatever lets hear what you got gang"

"Where does the military commander buy his groceries? the GENERAL STORE HAHAHAHAHAHA IM SO SORRY"

"My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop..."

"My first wife was a great housekeeper. She kept both houses"

"People don't really care who you are until you lick their face"

"Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis? Because it is below C level."

"How do you recycle a condom? You turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it"