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Joke of the Day

"My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop..."

"What did the white collar executive say to the low-income disenfranchised youth? Nothing. Social dichotomy prevents the establishment of dialogue."

"Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11"

"I've been married to my wife for 34 years. We now only have hallway sex... When you pass each other in the hallway and both just say ""Fuck You"""

"I think my Maths teacher might have some relationship issues... She keeps asking us to find her 'x'."

"You shouldn't make racist jokes about Asians who cant drive when its raining Its a slippery slope"

"Bae: Come over. Romeo: Can't. You're a Capulet, I'm a Montague. Bae: Deny thy father and refuse thy name; come over. Romeo: Also, you're 13."

"Some people can ruin how attractive they are by doing this weird thing with their mouth... it's called ""talking"""

"I'm calling about the poster for your missing cat. Why not ask the guy who took that picture? Just kidding, I ran over it."

"There used to be 9 planets, just like there used to be 9 members of Wu-Tang, but then ODB died so they had to kick Pluto out of the group."