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Joke of the Day

"My landlord just called and said my neighbors just complained about all the loud freaky sex they are hearing from my house... So now I'm on my way to buy some headphones for my laptop..."

Next Joke
 
"My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says ""declined"" whenever you use it."
"Zombies are categorically asexual as they are more interested in taking head than giving head."
"Who was the marketing genius who decided to call killer whales ""killer whales"" instead of ""sea pandas""???"
"My wife caught me crossdressing.. So I packed her things and left."
"What difference does an ""A"" make? Between NASA and NSA--it's astronomical."
"What does Kodak film and a condom have in common? They both capture that special moment"
"Q: what's a biologists definition of a graph A: an animal with a long neck"
"What do Mexican's put under their carpet? Underlay"
"A haunted house, but just with a bunch of mall kiosk guys chasing you with face cream"