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Joke of the Day

"Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently."

"my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG"

"water Water Teacher: What is the formula for water? Student: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O Teacher: That's not what I taught you. Student: But you said the formula for water was...H to O. l"

"I was reading earlier about a dwarf who got pick pocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't."

"This morning, 2 evangelists knocked on the door selling Jesus. If they would've thrown in a Slap Chop, I would've been sold."

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery driver have in common? It's okay to smell it, but if you eat it you're gonna get fired."

"Cop (catches me with a bag of marijuana, a dead duck and a dead crow): Sir, what were you doing? Me: Killing two birds while being stoned."

"What did the cannibal say to his victim before they went for a long walk? You're gonna be pooped after this."

"Why was the tea so obstinate? Because it was steeped in tradition."