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Joke of the Day

"my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG"

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"How many billionaires does it take to make a superhero? Three. Two to get murdered and one to never get over it."

"What do you call a pothead that murders? Stonedface killer."

"What is the difference between a midget politician and syphilis? One is a cunning runt."

"Why is school like a boner? It's long and hard...unless you're asian."

"Me and my ex-girlfriend just weren't meant to be together, she was a Capricorn... and I don't believe in bullshit"

"Stay away from teenage skunks They have pee-yoo-berty! Ill see myself out :/"

"You know, if grapes actually tasted like ""grape-flavored"" stuff then maybe life wouldn't seem like such a lie all the time."

"At this point I feel like MTV is just trying to scare old people."