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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally got my blow up doll pregnant. Related: I've got some balloons for sale."

"smokers have a greater risk of heart disease, stroke and hard-to-hear outdoor phone conversations."

"What is it called when you sleep talk about your subconscious feelings ? A Freudian Sleep."

"I am fairly well educated, but not 'knows every nuance of the English language' educated. I also have no idea what 'nuance' means."

"What's the difference between a Catholic and a Jew? At least when a Catholic scars you for life, you might get to cum."

"Why didn't The Cold War happen? Russia kept Stalin it"

"I measure my kids' ages in terms of percent complete out of eighteen years. My kids are 22% and 38%."

"Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)"

"Happy 1 year anniversary to the Lean Cuisine in my freezer!"

"How do you make a baker cry? Kill his family"