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Joke of the Day

"Clinton is so crooked... She needs a Kaine for support. (Credit to: /u/medically)"

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"So an Irishman walks past a bar..."
"What's Han Solo's favorite type of video game? First person shooter."
"I wrote a theatrical performance on puns Really, it was just a play on words."
"Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade? There were too many vets."
"A bullet walks into a bar, depressed. ""Why the sad face?"" asks the bartender. ""I got fired."""
"My donkey ate my Christmas tree...total pine in the ass."
"Why did the chicken cross the road? To murder link"
"I called the pet store to ask if they sell exotic cats. ""Yes"" he said. ""Serval Varieties"" ^I ^better ^see ^some ^horrible ^retaliatory ^puns ^in ^the ^comments"
"WIFE: I think he's in a midlife crisis ""Why, did he buy a new car?"" WIFE: not yet [I pull up on a sleigh pulled by roughly 1000 raccoons]"