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Joke of the Day

"I get myself into less trouble when I've got a character limit."

"How do you organise a space party? You planet!"

"Words to live by What doesn't kill you, isn't in Australia"

"Schrdringer's cat walks into a bar Or not"

"My wife said ""You only love me because my father left me a million pounds."" ""That's not true, I'd still love you whoever left it to you"""

"I'm not racist. I'm not racist, racism is a crime and crime is for black people."

"This guy on GMA is thanking God b/c he survived 2 plane crashes. I'm pretty sure ""God"" is trying to kill him."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl use the restroom? The P is silent."

"Go to subway and order the Jared Fogle. 38 year old meat between 10 year old buns."

"I could be a stripper if guys want to see a girl get stuck trying to take off her turtleneck followed by an on-stage panic attack."