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Joke of the Day

"This venomous snake is pretty scary. What can we do to make it even scarier? Put a toy for babies on its tail. YES"

"People come up to me all the time in the street and they say to me, they say, ""Joe, what's the difference between Hag Shavuot and Hag Ha-Katzir?"" And I say to them, I say, ""Oh, about fifty bucks."""

"Why did the ""H"" kill himself Because the ""G"" had..."

"10 years ago I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date,. Today I asked her to marry me. She said no both times."

"What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny? His lucky people's foot!"

"""Okay class, today we are going on a trip... *hands out acid*"

"What's the Boogeyman's part-time job? BoogeyNAN!"

"If a man strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other. Then, having shown yourself impregnable to cheek attack, beat the crap out of him."

"Great Scot, Marty! You know what you'd get if I locked myself in a room with the old-me from 1955 and convinced my other self never to build a time machine? A paradox, Marty!"

"Hey Pringles, it's time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn't exactly thin-wristed."