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Joke of the Day

"Dear cast of The Simpsons, Why is it that the Asian characters are white and the white characters are yellow? Sincerely, confused."

"Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live."

"What should you use to make a boat explode? A weapon of mast destruction."

"Everybody thinks I am a psychopath... but I don't care what they think."

"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."

"Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around? Because he could only make 14 point turns."

"Why did the boy drop his icecream? He was hit by a truck."

"What do you call a disabled kid in a hot car A vegetable"

"My GF was brutal when we moved. Told me anything not used in the past 6 months had to go... I just looked down and gave my condolences"

"Grammar is important. It's the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit."