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Joke of the Day

"16 sodiums walk into a bar followed by Bruce Wayne Nananananananananananananananana BATMAN! Edit: added two na"

"I installed a pedometer app on my phone But whichever direction I walk, I seem to be moving away from the kids."

"I always give 110%. Oops. Left out the decimal point. I always give 1.10%."

"What's the difference between a lazy overeater and a flirtatious emo? One is Sloth the Gluttonous the other is Goth the Sluttiness. Yep made that up on the way home today... Sorry."

"I bet if I got one of those jumbo 16-slice toasters, people would finally take me seriously."

"I was going to make a joke about blind people but I do not want to offend anyone on reddit."

"What two things do prostitutes make? Hormones and hormones"

"Did you hear about the group of people who stole a dozen boxes of Viagra? Police are looking for hardened criminals."

"I tried anal once It was fucking shit"

"If you're in Los Angeles and lost your wallet near the Starbucks on Melrose I found your wallet but not the $58 inside it."