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Joke of the Day

"JUDGE: put ur hand on this book and promise not to lie PERSON WHO IS IN COURT LITERALY FOR LYING ABOUT THINGS: uh...... ok"

"I hate Holocaust jokes: My grandpa died in Auschwitz... He fell off a guard tower while on duty. Neva forget"

"What is the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I wouldn't pay $10 to watch a garbanzo bean."

"I broke my finger today But on the other hand im fine"

"I just read the words ""untimely death"" and thought, ""Man, I hope my death is timely."""

"""If I could have dinner with any person, dead or alive... ..I would choose alive."" -BJ Novak-"

"I told a girl to text me when she gets home. She must be homeless."

"My ex wife is going through pms, I know this because my car is on fire."

"I'm going to change my name to Blake. So I can ask my girl if she wants to wake and Blake."

"What's worse than eating out your grandmother? Banging your head on the coffin lid."