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Joke of the Day

"Fight club. Only naps instead. Rules the same. Just no fights. Only secret, uninterrupted glorious naps."

"Did you hear about that rich kid who got a car for his birthday? He drove it into a tree to see how his Mercedes bends."

"My son got sent home from school today for chewing gum in class. I had to phone the teacher and explain to her that he's only trying to give up smoking."

"Hi, I'm black, and I can't stand it when people assume we're all criminals -Sent from your iPhone."

"I'm never marrying anyone else that I find on craigslist."

"Number joke as told by Yoda why 5 afraid of 7 was? because 6, 7 8"

"Me: ""I really like this car"" Salesman: ""Yeah and it also has a latch in case someone gets stuck in the trunk!"" Me: ""Eh, what else ya got?"""

"Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research."

"What do you call Hitler in the water? Adolfin. Stolen from /u/NightRedditor423"

"Switzerland is a pretty sweet country... and their flag's a big plus."