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Joke of the Day

"To the handicapped guy who stole my bag You can hide but you can't run"

"[wife gets home] did you feed the baby his spinach today? [me doing push ups] hell no I'm not letting that baby get stronger than me"

"What did one orphan say to the other? ""Robin, get in the Batmobile"""

"Why couldn't Handel play his harpsichord? Because it was baroquen."

"What's the difference between a hockey player and a French woman? Hockey players shower after three periods."

"What were the Mexican crisps doing in the locked conference room? It's nacho business!"

"How does every racist joke start? By looking over your shoulder"

"How did one dinosaur insult the other? Yo mama so stupid she gets excited seeing a shooting star."

"What did the SJW do for Halloween? Went trigger-treating."

"Exec 1: So, you wait in long lines. No shade. Crying kids. Drinks cost $7.00. Exec 2: Nice. What do we call it? E1: Lol, ""amusement park."""