225597

Joke of the Day

"I feel like Trump and Hillary are two divorced parents fighting over custody of us but we kinda just wanna go live with grandma."

"Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of Muesli? He was pulled under by a strong currant"

"What do you call a stegosaurus with carrots in its ears? Anything you want to - it can't here you!"

"Why is a ghost like an empty house? Because there's no body there!"

"Saw a guy this morning covered from head to toe in camouflage and sporting a fluorescent safety jacket... You can't have it both ways mate"

"Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand."

"I've deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? a rip off."

"Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana."

"The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?"