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Joke of the Day

"His ex saw me and said, ""I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder""... I said, ""Guess so, but I Be Holdin' his hand!!!"""

"What did Noah name the carpentry supply store he set up in Little Rock? Ark-n-Saw."

"Are you from Iraq? Because I wanna see you Baghdad ass up"

"I recently realised that tofu is over rated. It's just a curd to me. Source: some organic food companies truck in Auckland."

"Jesus walks into a bar... and orders a water. Bartender says ""Not this shit again Jesus."""

"The wise sage asked him, ""If you take money out of the equation, what activity in life would thrill you the most. What's your passion?"" ""Fantasy football"""

"My doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex, but my girlfriend insists it's for my dyslexia"

"If I had a dollar for every time I've used algebra in my life I'd have *n* dollars"

"The three rules about procrastination. 1. 2."

"Has anyone woken up Green Day yet?"