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Joke of the Day

"Somebody once told me in the middle of a huge machine gun battle that I always emphasize the boring parts of anecdotes, which made me sad."

"ME: I have chronic pain. It flares up whenever someone challenges my beliefs FRIEND: That's not really how chronic pain works ME: ow owwww"

"Why did Sally fall of the swingset? She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"I don't know if this is even anything. It could be a joke \(_o)/ Judging intelligence by academic performance is like judging a book by how good it is. Some books are shit"

"How come Apple-products have so small transistors? Children have very small hands"

"What do you call a three legged cow? Lean Beef. What do you call a two legged cow? Your mom."

"Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree."

"What did the stormtrooper say when he was frying Luke's aunt and uncle? I'm burning, I'm burning, I'm burning Beru."

"What did the picture say to the Judge? I WAS FRAMED! I just now made that up. I feel good about this one! ~Skip"

"What do you call a cow masturbating in an open field? Beef-Stroke-Anoff"