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Joke of the Day
"As a kid I was forced to walk the plank... We couldn't afford a dog"
Next Joke
"Things look 'a whole lot brighter in the morning' because of the sun. They still suck."
"Why do lesbians go to modells? Because they don't like dicks"
"""holy crap....um guys?!"" - the first caterpillar to wake up out of a cocoon"
"Remember, freedom isn't free. If you're with the military-industrial complex, it can be incredibly profitable."
"[First date] Him: Can you pass the- SOMETIMES WHEN I SLEEP ON MY STOMACH MY CAT LIES ON MY BACK LIKE A TINY SURFER"
"I wish that regular church goers would stay home at Easter so that those of us who only come once a year can get in the building."
"Guy gets wife roses. She says ""I guess this means you want me on my back w my legs in the air?"" He says, ""Why, we don't have a Vase?"
"What's the difference between a cunt and an asshole? According to the latest polls, about 4%."
"I just baptized a bale of hay and now I have a Christian Bale."