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Joke of the Day

"Kissing a sleeping woman in an animated Disney movie, romantic.....but do it on a bus and the judge doesn't agree."

"Using my toes to pick something up makes it hard to go to church on Sunday."

"What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke holes that it's often poked before? A key."

"What do monkeys sing at Christmas ? Jungle Bells Jungle bells.. !"

"A Blonde on her way to Disneyland... ...saw a sign that said ""Disneyland, Left"", so she turned around and went home."

"Why couldn't Princess Leia find love? She was looking in Alderaan places."

"People say I'm a completely different person when I'm drunk so technically I'm proud to say I never cheated before!"

"I believe in God and have a sense of humor about it. But when you insist that makes me an idiot, you sound as tolerant as Mel Gibson."

"[using ouija board] Why isn't he responding to us? I'm annoyed H I A N N O Y E D I M D A D"

"On a scale from Casey Anthony to Jerry Sandusky... how much do you like kids?... Somewhere around a Ronald McDonald, I pretend to like them but slowly kill them with diabetes"