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Joke of the Day

"Why did Sally fall of the swingset? She had no arms. BONUS JOKE: Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally."

"I have a higher IQ than Batman and Donald Trump combined. By the way, Batman has a higher IQ than me."

"Why did the pedophile get a job at the bakery? because he likes his buns fresh from the oven."

"I lied. There was no crime. I just wanted to see how long it would take the police sketch artist to realize I was describing Patrick Swayze."

"Asked my daughter to get me a glass of water & she brought me a glass of wine....she's either Jesus or I gotta remember the lies I tell her"

"Did you hear about the auntie who plugged her electric blanket into the toaster? She kept popping out of bed"

"*Spider exam: How to scare people out of their mind* Fly Breathe fire Sit still on the ceiling and mind your own business"

"Joke my dad told me: What's black and white and red, and has trouble going through a revolving door? A nun with a javelin through her head"

"With all the conflicts in the world, the board game Risk has taught me the first thing we should do is invade Australia."

"How can you tell if an engineer is an extrovert? They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you."