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Joke of the Day

"Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German terror plot to steal millions in bearer bonds? Old habits die hard"

"An old man cheats on his wife The wife asks: ""Why? What does she have that I don't?"" Her Husband answers: ""Parkinson's""."

"Doctor, Doctor... I have a steering wheel in my pants. It's driving me nuts!"

"ME: Ok, that's everything in the dishwasher *closes dishwasher door* *turns it on* *turns around* TEASPOON: You're not gonna believe this"

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"Hey, people who act like they're about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out."

"Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche"

"How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

"What did the egg say to a pot of boiling water? ""I'm not ready to get hard yet, I just got laid!"""

"What do you call a short cowboy? Subdude"