195067

Joke of the Day

"An old man cheats on his wife The wife asks: ""Why? What does she have that I don't?"" Her Husband answers: ""Parkinson's""."

"It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike."

"Ever since I installed Adblocker Plus things haven't been going so well.. All of a sudden chicks in my area are no longer interested in me."

"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."

"Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro."

"How do shellfish get high? At a clam bake"

"Guy: Are you pregnant? Me: No, I'm a Ninja Turtle with my shell on BACKWARDS. Guy: ..... Me: Cowabunga, douche!"

"PROFILE PICTURES: What people want other people to think they look like. TAGGED PICTURES: What they actually look like."

"Why shouldn't you listen to people who have just come out of the swimming pool? Because they are all wet."

"I was going to post a joke about my poop this morning but it was too corny."