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Joke of the Day

"How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, Lutherans don't change."

"What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment."

"I get carried away sometimes. Because I refuse to leave."

"A gay and a lesbian are going to the airport. Who gets there first? The lesbian. She got there lickity split while the gay guy was still packing his shit."

"Why did Sepp Blatter resign from the FIFA president position? He just couldn't hold it any longer."

"How do Australians ask their friends to pass the Coffee Mate :("

"Have you seen the clown that hides from ugly people? I thought not..."

"Hansel and Gretel is a timeless tale about the importance of killing old ladies."

"miscarriages You know what they say about women who've had miscarriages. They lose their inner child."

"I'm scared of the pesticides on this produce, so I guess I'll run them under cold water for half a second"