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Joke of the Day

"My car was like ""change my oil"" & I was like ""change it yourself, stupid"" & it was like ""I can't, I'm an inanimate object"" & then we laughed"

"TIL ninjas only have sex in the dark... That way you can't see them coming."

"Your mama is so: need some material.."

"I cumfonted my girlfriend this morning... What did she have to say? Get me a towel."

"A LAWYER AND A POLITICIAN What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton."

"Why were there balloons in the bathroom? There was a birthday potty."

"Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*"

"What do you call a lamp you send in the mail? Lamp post"

"What do you call a gay bar with no bar stools? A fruit stand."

"ive learned that asians will always make Wong decisions when driving..."