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Joke of the Day

"Prisoner:*strapped into chair* Flip the switch & fry me. Guard: Oh, we're not electrocuting you... *college kid w/ acoustic guitar walks in*"

"- Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it."

"What did the viola say to her daughter before crossing the street? You better C^ or you'll B^"

"Twinkle twinkle line of coke, you're the reason why I'm broke. :("

"my life is all about getting strong and powerful and then marching on down to hell to challenge satan for the throne"

"Fun things to do pt 1 When you're stuck in traffic and some guy revs up his engine just yell out ""alright we get it you have a small penis"""

"I keep all of my fishing equipment in one place. That's what sea shed."

"How do thunderstorms invest their money? -In a combination of liquid assets and frozen assets"

"How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!"

"This fat hate on reddit has been ridiculous lately. Come on, give them a break. They have enough on their plates already."