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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I got salsa on your baby and I'm extra sorry I scraped it off with a chip"

"bangs are just a poor woman's botox."

"My girl says I'm like a volcano in bed... Dormant"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cellar ! Cellar who ? Cellar. No I think she can be repaired !"

"How do you fit five elephants into a car ? Two in the front two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? Getting her off the wheelchair."

"What do you call an extremist group of water at 0 Degrees Celsius? ISIS"

"I'm here to make a donation. Nun: Blessings, the orphans could use... *Shoving my kid at her- A brother? I'd like a receipt. For my taxes."

"I'm as useless as the top two buttons on a Greek mans dress shirt."

"If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes."