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Joke of the Day

"My diet plan is just watching my 400 pound coworker lick her lips and sweat as she describes her dinner from last night."

"You heard about the new Jewish designed car? It stops on a dime... & picks it up."

"""Why did Sally fall off the swings?"" ""Because she has no arms."" ""Knock knock"" ""Who's there?"" ""Not Sally. Because she has no arms. """

"""I think I have Ebola."" ""JUST DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK!"""

"What happens when Keemstar and Ricegum have a baby? He's born with Diss-lexia"

"What do you call a person who doesn't care that he just got kicked out of a Call of Duty team? *unfazed*"

"What do a pedophile and a Pokemon master have in common? They both have a collection of CP"

"I order so much Chinese food the delivery guy must think I'm a middle aged divorced homicide detective in an 80s movie."

"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it"

"I told my GF I was buying her some diamonds for her birthday. She said that nothing would please her more. So I got her nothing."