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Joke of the Day
"Why did Leonardo DiCaprio laugh at the Oscar joke? Because he finally got it"
Next Joke
"Do you know what a pirate's favorite letter is? Most people think its ""R"" but it's really the ""C."""
"What's North Koreas favorite drinking game? Pong-Yang."
"GRADUATION TIP: Don't graduate! The real world is terrifying. Hide out in the library. They can't make you leave if they can't find you!"
"My friend once asked me if I would have sex with a christian girl without a condom. It's okay, God will protect us."
"As a child I was absolutely terrified of weather forecasters ..until I realised they weren't to scale."
"Why can't you trust snakes ? They speak with forked tongues !"
"[titanic] SAILER: but captain there's an ice berg right ahead CAPTAIN WHO LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A SHARK: i said straight ahead"
"God says to jesus, ""You remembered it's father's day?"" Jesus says ""what the hell am I supposed to get a man who has everything?!"" *God turns & winks at camera* ""Omnipresents."""
"Trains do a pretty good job of letting you know they're still 7 miles away."