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Joke of the Day

"What do a pedophile and a Pokemon master have in common? They both have a collection of CP"

"I wish I could replace my central nervous system with a central confidence system."

"Who decided that a clown popping suddenly out of a metal box would be a good toy for young children?"

"Why was the electoral map feeling down? It wasn't, it was feeling blue."

"I hate it when you tell someone a lie to sound interesting and then you have to keep it up for several years because you married them."

"I'm going to just start biting the faces of people that stand too close during a conversation."

"I'm in line behind a lady with 100 coupons so come visit me in jail, OK?"

"What would a scandal involving Microsoft be called? Gatesgate."

"I wish dreams were like Chatroulette and you could just click ""Next"" when you see a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume jerking off."

"The average monkey swallows 7 spider-monkeys every single night."