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Joke of the Day

"""I think I have Ebola."" ""JUST DO YOUR DAMN HOMEWORK!"""

"Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you have to drink a lot of it."

"How frustrating would it be if you turned into a zombie before you had a chance to put your dentures in?"

"I heard your sister built a brothel. With the bricks your mother got from prostitution."

"The U.S. will soon have the first first lady that was not born in the U.S. Vladimir Putin"

"Tech Support: ""Which format are the images you send?"" Customer: ""Rectangular 15x11 centimeters."""

"me: wanna see my cat's shed? friend: lots of cats shed. why would-- [my cat enters wearing a tool belt] cat: show him the gazebo, too"

"walk up in the club like what up omg this is a funeral i am so sorry I twerked on the casket sorry for your loss."

"What do you call a half elephant, half rhinoceros? An abomination."

"Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!"