225318

Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because they don't like DICKS."

"I just remembered the fuck out of the titans."

"""You know what would make this rice even better? Racism."" - Pitch meeting for Uncle Ben's"

"I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!"

"Boy, I hate small talk. *coworkers all grimace* He's right behind me isn't he? *Small talk starts cracking his knuckles*"

"Columbus didn't get to India because he was dis-Oriented He found the Americas by Occident."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and only got a toaster."

"What would it take to reunite the Beatles? 2 more bullets."

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans Free. - [*Darren Walsh*](https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-34039927)"