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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and you shall receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and only got a toaster."

Next Joke
 
"""..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?"
"Superman's Google searches: ""Strongest hero"" ""Strongest hero. Not Hulk"" ""Fastest hero"" ""Fastest hero. Not Flash"" ""Phone booth for sale"""
"Why Did Hitler kill himself? He was told about his gas bill"
"Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna? Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe?"
"What's pink and hard? A pig with a knife."
"New Year's Eve probably sucks for Lance Armstrong... He can't enjoy watching the ball drop."
"I saw a scary looking Middle-Eastern man so Iran"
"So there're these two fish in a tank... and the one fish turns to the other and says, ""Hey man, do you know how to drive this thing?"""
"Why did the bed spread? Because it saw the pillow slip."
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