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Joke of the Day

"I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!"

"Have you seen the new film called Constipation? It hasn't come out yet."

"Exercising when you get older is so important! My granny started walking 5 miles a day when she turned 65. Now she's 92 and we don't know where the hell she is."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands."

"*lays head on homeless guys lap* ""You would not believe the day I had"""

"Do you like dragons? I'll be dragon deez nuts across ya head shortly."

"A friend lectured me about going to see Star Wars alone, because ""that's weird."" As if chastising a grown man in a cloak is some normal shit"

"When people shorten words for no reason it makes me want to commit murds."

"I hate when Doctors asks questions like . . . ""Are you sexually active?"" Depends on what you mean by ""active"". There are plenty of ""active"" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years."

"I have sex daily. Sorry, I meant dyslexia."