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Joke of the Day

"Looks like we got about 4 inches of snow last night Or as my boyfriend calls it... 7."

"What do you call it when you have sex with a dwarf who has gender dysmorphia? micro trans action"

"You say tomato I say gross"

"From my 7-year-old: What type of phone does a hawk use? A hawkie talkie."

"Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home? Because he knew his parents will make him return it."

"When I was 6, Santa gave me coal for Christmas, so the next year I decided to get back at him and poison his cookies. Somehow, the bastard found out and killed my dad."

"A prostitute worked her shift on a Saturday. Approximately eight fucks were given that day."

"What's the difference between a joke and 3 dicks? Your mom can't take a joke."

"There are three people with four cigarettes on a boat. None of them have a lighter or matches. What do they do? Throw a cigarette over-board so the entire boat becomes a cigarette lighter!"

"He: ""I'll catch a grenade for you."" She: ""Prove it."" He: *Plays Call of Duty*"