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Joke of the Day
"Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a banana."
Next Joke
"Anyone know how long we are supposed to ""Shake It Off""? Taylor never specified and frankly I'm exhausted!"
"A husband and his wife. ""honey I have a confession to make. I've been seeing a psychiatrist"" ""Thats's okay dear"" the wife replied. ""I've been seeing the pool man and our daughter's basketball coach"""
"What was the vacant lot's favorite Spoon song? Don't Make Me A Target"
"Stevie Wonder got a cheesegrater for Christmas. He said it was the most violent book he's ever read."
"If I'm ever in a coma unplug me. Then plug me back in and see if that fixes the problem."
"EXPLORER 1: *looking at ancient symbols in pyramid* It says ""Here lies updog"" EXPLORER 2: What's updog? EGYPTIAN SPIRITS: Lol"
"Hillary Clinton could be become our first F president. I'd say female, but she lost the email."
"I can dig graves my entire life and nobody calls me a landscaper, but i suck one dick! And they call me gay for life!"
"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."