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Joke of the Day

"My Dads career advice was ""Do what you love"". So I'm trying to make a living jerking off and playing video games."

"Just heard a weird noise from the other room, but refuse to call out ""Is anyone there?"" I've seen the movies...those people always die!"

"What sort of underwear does the ghost of a French baker wear? Boulangerie."

"What do Donald Trump and his chromosomes have in common? There is one too many of them."

"Simba was moving slow So I told him to mufasa."

"ME: Tall, dark, toilet-trained. YOU: Pizza."

"If 9/11 happened in Vegas, no one would have ever known due to that silly motto."

"My buddy has been so annoying bragging about how he only sails on a ships maiden voyage... Fuckin shipsters"

"Why didn't the cheese get sliced? It was destined for grater."

"My friend once talked me out of jumping off a building with my new homemade glider wings. He said I didnt understand the gravity of the situation."