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Joke of the Day
"What did the Mod say to OP? [deleted]"
Next Joke
"Whats the difference between an onion and a hooker? *Dead pan face*, I don't cry when I cut up hookers."
"Did you know that you're allowed to pull over a cop on your birthday? Try it!"
"Interviewer: what interests you about this job? Me: the pay Interviewer: can you be more specific? Me: cash"
"My family used to be in the steal and iron business My dad would steal and my mom would iron."
"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]"
"Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard."
"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead"
"Hey honey, I bought some steaks. I need you to stand on this box next to me while I eat them. Because it says right here, ""Best if consumed by date on package."""
"People can be so easy to read... ...like if their face is red, they're embarrassed. Or if their skin is brown, they're about to commit a crime."