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Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris can win a game of Trivial Pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question...... just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard."

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"A friend of mine just got divorced. He and his ex-wife split the house. He got the outside."
"First they came for the fat, whiny losers, and I said nothing, because they got me immediately. I was like the first person they got."
"Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the M' is silent."
"Having a favorite politician is like a homeless guy having a favorite can."
"They say you are what you eat So I bought myself some ""ready to eat Apricots"" And after I bought them I was indeed, ready to eat Apricots."
"There are 10 types of people... Those who understand binary and those who don't."
"On the train... A girl sneezes. you: ""bless you."" she: ""sorry, i have a boyfriend."" voice from a few seats behind you: ""i'm a vegan."""
"When you read an unfunny joke: downvote it."
"You didn't even notice that I had 1/8 of an inch cut off of my hair! - women"