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Joke of the Day

"I need hug(e amount of money)."

"Did you know that milk is the fastest liquid on earth? It's pasteurized before you can even see it."

"Did you hear that Mariah Carey's producers asked when the ball would be dropped last night? Because it seemed to happen around 11:41"

"What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"Wife: ""The two things I cook best are meatloaf and apple pie."" Husband: ""Which is this?"""

"How do the Russian people feel about their government? They're Putin up with it."

"Just met Darth Vader's corrupt brother. Taxi Vader"

"Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won't remember them. This also applies to your birthday. Your birthdays are safe with me."

"TIFU by making an overused joke. Reddit"

"Q. What do you call two line dancers doing the dance Shoot the Rooster? A. A Pair of Shoot (parachute)"