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Joke of the Day

"What does a dirty hippie say after you ask him to get off your couch? Namaste"

"what did internet man say to other internet mam ""dank meme"""

"People are weird. Everyone knows door handles spread disease, but whenever I ask a business owner if I can clean his knob I get thrown out."

"4 types of orgasms [video] [I think the video form is much better](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLckTJTwRYk). It's SFW btw."

"I think I'm a light eater. As soon as it's light, I start eating."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe, dang it! BREATHE!"

"Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work."

"How can you kill an idiot with half a dollar? Throw it under a bus."

"Sometimes I put toilet paper... Sometimes I put toilet paper over my penis, and pretend that it's a ghost."

"[Dr's office] ""I have Carrie like reflexes"" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire* No"