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Joke of the Day

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"What do you call someone who gets Praise and Merit on Reddit? Creddit!!!!"

"Q: How do you make a witch itch? A: Take away her W."

"Jesus said that he'd get rid of evil people, whereas Norse gods said they'd get rid of frost giants. nnI don't see many frost giants around."

"My legs are so white that they stopped listening to their Bon Iver LP to correct my pronunciation of 'quinoa'"

"Two reposters are in a plane crush. Who survives? Reddit"

"What is a Coronal Mass Ejection? I might be wrong here, but I think it's when you throw up after drinking too much Mexican beer."

"One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I'd love to hold your baby"

"What's 9 inches long, rock hard, full of semen, and the ladies scream at? my cock."

"I'm so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me."