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Joke of the Day

"I'm so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me."

"What do you call an unconvincing stick insect? Unreali-stick"

"So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back... Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient."

"Why does it smell so bad in Russia? Everybody loves Putin!"

"So I've been studying up on clams lately I want to take up boxing, and I heard part of training is mussel memory."

"Why do men get erections while they sleep? So they don't accidentally roll out of bed."

"I nearly bought a car today but had a lucky escape when I checked the fine print I discovered it had driver aids ..!"

"I love timelines that are 100% unanswered tweets @ celebrities. It's like reading letters to Santa."

"Unknown numbers calling and leaving 3 seconds of silence as a voicemail is the greatest unsolved mystery of my life."

"What did we call IT before computers ? The Mail Room"