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Joke of the Day

"A magician walks down the street... and turns into a pub"

"A woman went to the bar with a black eye. ""How'd ya get that?"" asked the bartender. ""From my husband,"" she replied. ""But I thought he was out of town?"" he asked. ""So did I!"" she said."

"just like how Magma doesnt become Lava until it comes out of a volcano, its not poop until it comes out of the ass. before its out its pizza"

"Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list. She said she didn't give a flying fuck."

"What Do You Call An Israelite On The Himalayas? Mountain Jew."

"I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant.. , but then I changed my mind."

"How do you know when a black chick is pregnant? When she pulls out her tampon and all of the cotton is missing.."

"What do you call a cow who works for a gardener? A lawn moo-er."

"What's the difference between golf and sky-diving? In golf, it's ""*whack*... Fuck!"" And in sky-diving, it's ""Fuck!... *whack*""."

"Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet? Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe."