175668

Joke of the Day

"Told my wife that joining the Mile High Club is on my bucket list. She said she didn't give a flying fuck."

"Are you a keyboard? Because you're my type!"

"What's the difference between jews and scouts? The scouts come home from the camp."

"Depressed cows feel like life is udderly hopeless. But now there's hope. Ask your doctor if Cowbucil is right for your cow."

"During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, ""where should I put my pants?"" ""Over there by mine"" was not the answer I was expecting."

"What did Hitler dream of during the holidays? A WHITE Christmas!"

"I'm more emotionally invested in this sandwich than I am in most humans."

"A message from a girl Received a messages from a girl, ""come quickly to me, there's nobody home."" I went. Indeed, there was no one."

"A blonde has a BS in Science... Bullshit, isn't it?"

"NO. Absolutely not. I do not want to see your stupid cat video I've seen a billion cat vid-yeah ok let me see"