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Joke of the Day

"2-year-old: Dad? Me: What? 2: Are chickens real? Me: 2: Me: No one knows."

"Mom: Fred there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday and now there's only one. Why? Fred: I don't know. It must have been so dark I didn't see the other one."

"Friend: I'm getting married! Me: Have you considered just letting a homeless man sleep on your couch, instead?"

"Dear woman who likes to bring her friends along on our first date. You are simply giving me more options just in case I am not feeling you."

"How do you know you have a high sperm count? When the girl has to chew before she swallows."

"What do you call the only wood that doesn't float? Natalie."

"I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd."

"Turned on TV and heard people talking about grinding, pumping & hole filling. Sadly, it was just CNN."

"My friend wrote a joke on an egg and gave it to me to share with others. But I forgot and spoiled it."

"What's the difference between the Seahawks and a cheap hooker? The hooker won't choke on six inches."